


Civil War-Interviews

by FantasyFreak_2



Category: Fantastic Four (mentioned) - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spiderman (mentioned), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), X-Men (mentioned) - Fandom
Genre: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Spoilers, Just read, author makes herself to a reporter and interviews marvel-characters, kind of silly, or REALLY silly, take a look at the notes to make any sense of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-12
Updated: 2015-10-12
Packaged: 2018-04-26 02:54:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyFreak_2/pseuds/FantasyFreak_2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some of the characters are interviewed to their oppinion of the new movie "Civil War".</p>
            </blockquote>





	Civil War-Interviews

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Civil War-Interviews](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4987042) by [FantasyFreak_2](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FantasyFreak_2/pseuds/FantasyFreak_2). 



> This here might seem quite odd to most of you. I´m actually normally writing in a german Fanfiction-webside, named "Fanfiktion.de" and most of my works are published. I´m writing for some time now and started to talk to my characters in first person in my fanficitions - just as I do here. It probably seems kind of strange but I like to think of this as a bit of a personal style.  
> But at the german webside a story with no "proper beginning, middle and end" is not allowed so "Civil War-Interviews" was shut down. Since I´m liking this fanficition-webside also quite well, I thought I could publish it here and make a translation.  
> So in conclusion: It will be not the best english and a little bit strange with my running gag to talk to my characters in person but I hope you will still enjoy it.

Me: Hello and welcome to Marvelmoviecritics. We criticize movies before they even have a real trailer. Today´s theme is the movie “Civil War”. Risking my own life, I got exclusive interviews of some of the possible participants of this new movie:

Me: I heard that you wanted to face your old brother in arms, Tony Stark, in this movie.  
Steve: Well, I really wouldn´t say I want to…  
Me: The last Civil War in America took place some time ago, do you want to revoke old traditions in your position as Captain America?  
Steve: Excuse me?  
Me: Do you actually want to gruesomely murder Tony?  
Steve: What? NO!  
Me: Is it true that you and Bucky Barnes are lovers?  
Steve: (shouts) Who the hell are you?

Me: As we all know, in “Civil War” the superheroes of the Marvel-Universum are split up in two groups. Iron man and Captain America will be their leaders. Which team would you rather join?  
Hulk: Hulk smash!!! (runs at me)  
Me: Thank you for that informative talk! (starts running in the opposite direction) The sacrifices I bring for this job!

Me: Do you think of joining the team of Captain America?  
Tony: How could it even be possible not to be in my own team?  
Me: With Schizophrenic that is quite normal. Deadpool´s split personalities still argue which team they want to join.  
Tony: Deadpool?  
Me: Not part of the MCU-Cinematic Universe. He belongs to Fox, I think. But he is the next… let´s say “hero”… to get a stand-alone-movie. I tried to interview him but he constantly talked to himself and the readers while trying to kill me with his swords. (sighing with a lovesick expression)  
Tony: I thought you liked Loki best.  
Me: And you.  
Tony: Well, I will just jump of the next tower.  
Me: Talking about towers, have you and Steve – now that you´re officially “divorced” – already made an agreement about who gets to keep the Avengers tower?

Me: Which side will you join?  
Batman: I am Batman! I don´t need to take a side, I work alone. I am the lonely revenger…  
Me: Do you mean Avenger?  
Batman: Shut up! I am the brave hero. I am not the hero Gotham needs but the one it deserves. And above all… I am from DC!

Me: Please tell me you will take a side!  
Odin: I have no idea what you are talking about, mortal!  
Me: Stop the acting, Loki. Otherwise I will tell Thor that he is too stupid to tell his own brother from his father.  
Loki/Odin: Why do you make me always suffer so much?  
Me: Because I adore you!  
Loki: I come back in autumn 2017.  
Me: Damn it!

Me: Will you make another useless Cameo in this movie?  
Fury: What do you mean: useless? In Avengers 2, I saved the world.  
Me: Well, actually, you just appeared for tea time just to come back with a Helicarrier – which, by the way, always tend to near crash (seriously, is there a movie where these things do not have a defect or two?). But I´m sure that the Avengers appreciated your help. (I pet his bald head).  
Fury: (growled)

Me: Are you happy to do your name justice in the Civil War, War Machine?  
Rhodey: Actually, I´m named Iron Patriot now…  
Me: My condolence.  
Rhodey: Why does everyone hate this name so much?

Me: And now we speak to the fastest member of the group: Pietro Maximoff!  
Pietro: I´m dead.  
Me: You´re in a Marvel movie, it will pass.  
Pietro: I don´t have a cold or something, I. Am. Dead.  
Me: Loki rose from the dead twice now. You can do it, too.

Me: And who are you?  
Peter: I am Spiderman. The one and only!  
Me: More like: The three and only.  
Peter: Hey!  
Me: Three actors playing the same role in one decade. Do you think that the character of Spiderman is cursed? Maybe Voldemort had wanted to play the character once and was rejected…  
Peter: We aren´t in Harry Potter!  
Me: And why is there a Teenager with tousled dark hair and glasses saving the world?

Me: Is it possible seeing you and Captain America in one and the same scene or would it be a doubled strain?  
Johnny: I have no idea what you are talking about. We are completely different characters!  
Me: (looking at a photo of the “human torch”) Yeah, completely different!  
Johnny: There is a remake!  
Me: Where you all look as if you´re ten years old, no thank you. And with 8% of Rotten Tomatoes. Why did Marvel sell the Fantastic Four again?  
Johnny: A question we all ask ourselves!

Me: Talking about sold characters, will Marvel ever be able to call its mutants, mutants and not “inhumans”?  
Wolverine: No!  
Me: But Scarlett Witch is a mutant!  
Wolverine: No!  
Me: She is even the daughter of Magneto!  
Wolverine: No!  
Me: I thought mutants and are completely different creatures than inhumans!  
Wolverine: No!

Me: (look in the camera) This was today´s episode of Civil War… and we actually didn´t get to know anything new about Civil War… I am a bad reporter! Well anyway, I wasn´t mauled – until now – that is a success! I hope you liked it and understood my fairly moderate English. Switch on next time when….  
Hulk (roared in the distance)  
Me: I think I should really, really go!


End file.
